Still waiting

I called Dr. Gentili's receptionist this morning to find out if he did his April bookings yet. And my adrenaline went up.  I left my work number with her to call me back.

Of course, I was 10 steps from my desk when the call came in, so it went to my voicemail.

The receptionist was nice enough to call me back and left me a message to the effect that the good Dr. did not do his bookings on Wednesday as was planned and probably would not get to them on Friday either. (Obviously he is not in today)  She said my name is on the list for April or May.  Then my adrenaline crashed.

Or May?  No no no no no no no!!!!  But as my one boss wrote back to me when I let him know about the delay - everything happens for a reason and perhaps I need more time to prepare myself.  And perhaps he is right.  He is very smart afterall, he's got me for an assistant!!

I went to my 4th of 5 Reiki treatments today, and I went there feeling terrible.  It's not so much my head, it's my tummy right now... as if my head didn't give me enough grief!  It can be from stress, what I had for lunch, or just might be an off day. I left work a bit early as I needed to come home and relax and get my tummy knots to relax before Reiki. For supper all I had was some mashed potatoes and a piece of toast.  I don't want my tum retaliating on me.  I feel better now, but definitely not 100%.

Patience is a virtue...

possess it if you can.

Found seldom in a woman,

and never in a man!

My patience is wearing thin... I'm waiting for the surgeon to get back to me with my surgery date.  He said they would be booking his April surgeries by mid-week.  It's mid week, it's 8:55pm and I have checked my e-mail probably 30 times today, still no email... Do I send him another email?  I don't want to seem pushy or needy.  But I need my surgery date!!! I'm starting to panic that I won't have much notice and that I'll be leaving my job in the lurch and, and, and 101 other panicky thoughts that run through my head.  I've been so patiently waiting since January for a date.  I don't know how much longer I can be patient.

Ch-ch-changes

I decided to change my blog layout and colours.  I really liked the brown / pink, but I found it kinda dark.  I don't like the all-white, bright blogs either.  So I'm trying out pink.  It kinda reminds me of Barbie.  I wish I knew more about changing sections of my blog - like the pepto-bismal pink background, but I do not have the will or desire or mental capacity to work with that right now.

So thoughts are welcome - love, hate, suggestions or links how to change separate items on my blog.

And pink, it's spring, why not.  I've stopped hating pink at least.  I think my mum will be proud!!

More on Reiki and other healing techniques

One of my followers asked what is Reiki.  It's calm, it's healing, it's known as palm healing therapy.  It's best described as the channeling of energy through the body to heal, reduce pain and inflammation.  I had another session yesterday.  The practitioner, who is a gold level Master Reiki practitioner, said it was a good session.  I was so relaxed I even fell asleep a couple of times.  This apparently is a good thing - the more you are relaxed the better your energy can flow through you.  And I can, at times, feel the energy flowing through my arms or legs.  It's almost like a small electrical current runs through my body.  For more on Reiki, here's a link to Wiki.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reiki

There is a client at work who also practices a lot of natural healing methods.  She brought me some wild rose oil and demonstrated 3 methods of releasing tension and pain from headaches.  I'm all for managing without pain killers.  Tonight I've tried a couple of different things as my head is aching.  Pinch the skin between your thumb and index finger with your opposite hand.  Hold it for 5 seconds and switch hands.  The other is to place your fingers flat on your forehead - elbows out.  Drag your fingers from the center of your forehead out past your temples.  Move your fingers up a little (an inch) and do this again.  Continue up the forehead, over the skull with each pass, taking about 6 passes.  Both techniques are meant to help tension and pressure headaches.

While I'm here, what else can I update you on?  I heard from Dr. Gentili on Monday - he will be booking surgeries for April sometime next week.  So I should have a date soon.  I met a friend on-line who underwent the decompression recently.  She said it was like being hit by a truck for the first few days, but she's feeling better now.  That is good news.  If everything goes as expected, I know I can manage a few days of pain.  I manage that now.

Spring and Reiki

Today was bliss.  Warm, sunny, did I mention warm!  It was 16C/64F! In March! There isn't a bit of snow left in our yard.  The only place I saw some was in the shade along the walking trail tonight.

Street hockey games and toboggans  made way for soccer balls, roller blades and bicycles today.  It was nice to see so many kids out in t-shirts, playing with each other without boots, parkas, hats and mitts on.  I walked tonight wearing a fleece shirt and light jacket.  I only wore the jacket for somewhere to stash my keys and iPod!  I can't remember a spring this early in my short life.  But I am fully prepared for the bliss to come to a screeching halt.  This is Thunder Bay afterall, and springs storms sometimes hit, and hit hard.  But I'm going to enjoy every minute of it while it is here.

I had a very - different, special, pleasant, - I'm not sure which adjective would best describe my experience on Thursday, if there was even 1 word to sum it all up.  I went for my first Reiki treatment.  It was warm, pleasant, relaxing, tingly, and very calming.  I have something going on with my nerves - according to the practitioner.  And yep, I can see that completely.  I have 2 more sessions this week.  The practitioner feels I am in a state of emergency right now.  And yep again, I can also see that.  It was quite the experience.  I haven't completely centered all of my feelings about the experience.  I think the next sessions will help me understand how I should feel.  It's a spiritual, well, comforting feeling but those words don't really begin to express it properly.

I had a good week.  Again.  And I'm really happy about that.  I walked 3 times - between 1.5 and 2 miles each time.  I made 2 loaves of bread today - sour dough and cinnamon raisin.  I went to yoga.  I worked lots.  I had an email from an old friend who I'm meeting up with for coffee next week.  It was a good week.

I wish all of you a painfree, good week too!

Bucket List

Just finished watching The Bucket List for the umpteenth time.  I love this movie.  When my father-in-law got diagnosed with cancer last spring we asked him if there was anything he wanted to do for his bucket list.  He wanted to see another NHL game live.  And spend time at camp.  Within a couple weeks he was so ill that he never again left the house until the day he was transferred to the hospice care unit.  He never got to do the things he wanted to do.  I miss him every day.  Especially on days that end in Y.

It's been just over 7 months since dad died.  And almost 8 months since I was diagnosed with Chiari.  Dad really didn't get to know about my diagnosis as he was very very ill by then.  But I talk to him often about it.  I know or I believe he is somewhere watching over me, Thomas, my mother-in-law and the rest of our family. I keep telling him he has to watch over me when it comes time for my surgery (and no, I still do not have a date).  I believe that everything will go smoothly with my surgery and recovery, but I still like the idea having dad as my guardian angel.  (for those of you not close to me, my father-in-law is Dad to me.  I've had no contact with my biological father since my wedding day.)

I'm not a religious person.  I don't frequent church sermons.  I was never baptized.  I have gone to a number of different church denominations.  I enjoyed the service at the United church I went to as a child, but when the pastor passed away, it all changed and I didn't like the new pastor as much.  I've been to Catholic - numerous Catholic churches, Lutheran - in English and Finnish services, Episcopalian, and a few other houses of worship.  I've even attended a Hindu funeral - very nice, very peaceful service.  I have never found a church or Christian branch of religion that I felt 100% comfortable with.  I question everything.  And some of the differences in the different churches offers perspective on the whole religious experience.  Sorry to my devote religious followers, no offense intended, no offense taken, but I'm a non-conformist.

Where was I going with this post?  I remember.  Bucket List.  There are 101 or more things that I would love to do before I die. Here is a smattering...

1.   Visit the pyramids of Egypt

2.   Take my husband to Italy

3.   Learn to race motorcycles (but now because of Chiari, I will not risk it)

4.   Learn to speak Finnish better

5.  Meet Petra in person and of course Heidi - again!!

There are other things, non-monetary desires - 

6.   Be loved by my family, which I know I already am

7.   Find my centre at yoga

8.   Be more spiritual

Is there 1 thing I would like to do more than an other?  No, the ranking was just the way I wrote them down.  For now I am focusing on me.  Maintaining my pain until my surgery, maintaining my sanity too.  Using yoga and meditation to get through, hopefully without drugs as much as possible.  Once I've had the surgery, I will begin to re-evaluate again.  And re-write my bucket list.

: ) Peanut butter cookies ( :

I may end up jinxing myself, but I have had a pretty good few days.  Which reminds me, I should go grab an ice pack for my head for a while to relieve some of the tension at the back of my skull.  It's been a busy weekend.

Tea with an old friend, a jewellery party at my mother-in-law's, shopping with my sister-in-law on Saturday, and lots of stuff around the house today.  I managed a lot today and I hope I don't pay for it tomorrow.  I did laundry, dishes, made chili, vacuumed the whole house, went for a almost 2 mile walk with hubby, and made peanut butter cookies.  Mmmmm.... Peanut butter cookies.  I'm taking some to my bosses tomorrow.  They are both so wonderful to me when I'm having a bad day, a few cookies are the least I can do to day thank you.

I have arranged to have my will and power of attorney drawn up before my surgery.  I am not worried that something will happen to me, but in the event something does, I am prepared.  I'm quite anxious to hear from Dr. Gentili.  He has all of my MRI results now - they arrived on Wednesday at his office according to the tracking label.   I will give him until later in the week to hopefully review the reports and I will email him again to see where on the list I am for surgery in April.  It's only 3 weeks to the start of April, and I don't want too short of notice just so I can tidy things up at work.  I don't know who is going to cover for me yet, if anyone.  I have to talk to my one boss about it further before he leaves for Arizona later this week

Now, for some of those fresh peanut butter cookies....

Cassandra-ology

Borrowed from a fellow bloggers post!

Rules: YOU! Yes, you, reading this. You’re tagged. Now that you know more about me than you ever wanted to know, play the game, it’s fun! Let others know a little more about yourself, repost this as your name followed by “ology.”

FOODOLOGY:

What is your salad dressing of choice? Kraft fine herb

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Red Lobster

What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Quiznos - not really "fast food"

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Potatoes

What are your pizza toppings of choice? No cheese, green peppers, black olives, mushrooms, onions - all veg please

How many televisions are in your house? Two, and one old one in the basement not used

What color cell phone do you have? Silver

BIOLOGY:

Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Wisdom teeth, a bursa in my right foot, bunionette on my right pinky toe

What is the last heavy item you lifted? the laptop is my weight limit

Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Not yet

Have you ever fainted? Several times

BULLCRAPOLOGY:

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No thanks

If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Probably keep it but change the C to a K as there's no C in Finn

How many pairs of flip flops do you own? Only one to wear at the pool - I hate flip flops

Last person you talked to? Dentist's receptionist

FAVORITOLOGY:

Season? Summer

Holiday? I'm learning to like Christmas...

Day of the week? weekends

Month? May

Color? Violet or lavender

Drink? Herbal teas

Alcoholic? Malibu and mango juice

CURRENTOLOGY:

Missing someone? My father in law

What are you listening to? Spanglish

What are you watching? Spanglish

Worrying about? Headaches and my surgery date

What’s the last movie you saw? Probably Star Trek - but at home, haven't been to the movies for a long time

Do you smile often? For the most part

If you could change your eye color, what would it be? More green

What’s on your wish list for your birthday? My emerald to be set, good health

Can you do a chin-up? Nope

Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Nervous

Have you been in a car wreck? A few minor ones

Have you caused a car wreck? No

Do you have an accent? People from the US tell me I do, a Canadian one - what is a Canadian accent??

Last time you cried?  Yesterday when Canada won the GOLD!!!!! Again!!!

Plans tonight? Not much - doing it... laptop, movie

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Yep, but then I realized how much I had going for me and dragged my ass up the rope again.

Name three things you bought yesterday? A frog, 3 neons and fish food

Have you met someone who changed your life? My husband, my best friend,

For the better or worse? Better. I married one and have the other through thick or thin

How did you bring in the New Year? By myself on the couch, I think I made it til midnight.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yes, but I have no regrets

What songs do you sing in the shower? whatever is running through my head at the time

Have you held hands with someone today? No

Who was the last person you took a picture of? My grandparents at their 60th wedding anniversary
 

Are most of the friends in your life new or old? Old as in they've been my friends for a while

Do you like pulpy orange juice? Don't drink OJ

Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? Separately, on an english muffin this weekend

What were you doing at 12 a.m. last night? Sleeping!

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Why is it already 7am?  And what should I wear to work.

Have fun!!