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Friday, June 11, 2010

Say Good-bye

Tomorrow I'll say good-bye to my hair... again!  Two years ago I had hair to my butt.  I cut off 16 inches and donated it to wigs for cancer patients.  Now I will cut it short short short tomorrow in preparation for surgery on June 22nd.  I haven't cut it since January and it is about 4 inches longer than I would normally wear it.  I decided to cut it off for ease after surgery.  I have to wash, straighten and style it every day right now or it drives me crazy.  Not going to happen after surgery, especially when it is recommended not to use and hair product or colour.  So au naturel it will be!! Heaven help me!    The new "highlights" will just be my grey hair showing through!

Here's a before pic I took last weekend....
I'm going to measure to see how long my hair is and whether or not I can donate it for wigs again.   I've got a scarf I ordered from cjhats.com.  I don't have cancer and I'm not losing my hair because of chemotherapy, but I really liked the scarves this lady makes.  And it is her income since her battle with breast cancer.  

Here's my scarf....  I bought it blue and white to go with a dress I have that I was going to wear to my girl friend's wedding June 26th.  Now I'll miss the wedding because we will likely still be in Toronto.  But I still love it!!  It's pretty!  And it's adjustable for my little head.  Seriously, my skull is small, but overfilled with a big brain!  The lady who makes the scarves also makes hats and other headwear.  I also bought a pink fuzzy pillbox hat for winter.  It'll look great with my all black wool coat!  

Big plan for this weekend, besides the hair cut, is a family barbecue for both sides of the family.  If everyone comes there will be 12 of us tomorrow as my brother and his girlfriend are not in town.  And of course, because I want to have everyone out on the patio it is supposed to rain.  Oh well.... Well shift the living room furniture and eat inside if that is the case.  

Time to go wash my hair for the last time!  I can't lean back in the sink at the salon, for obvious reasons! so I always wash it the night before.  I'll post after pics sometime this weekend!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

A Chiari Poem - by Dr. John Oro

So I Say 


Another headache 
The third today 
We all have them 
So they say 

I’m getting dizzy 
My vision blurred 
Your getting older 
Don’t be absurd 

I’m staying home 
Too tired to go 
Go see your doctor 
She should know 

Too many symptoms 
You must be stressed 
Take medication 
And get some rest

I cannot think well 
Can’t find the words 
My memory slipping 
My speech gets slurred 

We’ll get a scan 
Since you insist 
If we find nothing 
Please don’t persist 

Don’t make me laugh 
Don’t make me cry 
It hurts to strain 
I don’t know why 

Your scan is fine 
By report today 
Incidental Chiari 
So they say 

Incidental 
What do you mean 
By a doctor 
I have not seen 

It is anxiety 
That makes you so 
The world is stressful 
I think you know 

I pulled away 
Gave up, or such 
Until the pressure 
Became too much 

I waded through 
The Internet 
Fearful of loosing 
What I had left 

It took some time 
To come to know 
My brain is hanging 
Down too low 

With every beat 
The fluid flows 
Deep in the brain 
To the opening below 

The rush of fluid 
Seeking release 
Finds cerebellum
Which makes it cease 

The pressure spikes 
My head explodes 
It makes such sense 
Now that I know 

Working together
We’ll find a way 
To make it better 
So I say

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

14 days to go!

I was quite annoyed on Sunday.  During my soak in the tub I mentally composed what I thought was a great blog post.  After my bath I grabbed my MacBook and settled in to type it out.  Click publish post.... "blog server is currently performing maintenance.  Please try your post again later!" After I spent 45 minutes typing! And it deleted it.  I couldn't even go to the backup draft!  So, aggravated, I ignored my blog for a couple days and hope the server is up and running properly tonight when I press publish!

I was all set to write about last week.  It was a busy week. I've been more "ditzy" than normal (remember, natural blonde, not dyed) and I think it has a lot to do with the pressure in my head.  I feel like my head is really wobbly and heavy.  I have real balance issues when I bend over to pick up something or tie my shoes.  Even just sitting on the couch I feel like my head will bobble over at any time and I will land on the floor.  Plus my legs are numb lots.  It's unsettling.  Not pins and needles, but uncomfortable.  And with a wobbly head my stomach follows.  Yech.  I feel terrible quite often, but often it only lasts for 5 or 10 minutes.  But it's 5 or 10 times a day.  Like having a 5 minute flash of oh my gosh hot, stomach cramps, nausea followed by icy chills....  Surgery I hope will resolve some of this!! 

Thursday was our 4th wedding anniversary and 12th year together and I spent most of it in bed.  Now, get your mind out of the gutter..... When I woke up and looked at the clock in the kitchen there were 4 sets of numbers.  Not a very good idea to drive to work when you're seeing in quadruple!  But I wasn't in any pain.  So, back to bed, ice and Advil.... Woke up a little while later and it was worse and my head was ready to EXPLODE!! Definitely not going to make it to work in such a state so I call in again to say I wouldn't be in at all.  Often if my eyes go funny there is no pain and an hour or so later I'm fine.  Not this time.  And not the last few times.  Now the visual disturbances are accompanied by mind splitting PAIN!  Easily an 8 / 10 on Thursday.

I also had my pre-op appointment on Thursday.  All is well.  I'm never going to die of high blood pressure with my average of 100/60.  (normal is 120/80).  My doctor signed my health travel grant and my pre-admission forms.  Now once I'm back I will have to see him again to fill in my disability certificate for work.  He said he would remove my staples if I am back in Thunder Bay by that time.  I think I'll go to the walk-in though.  My doctor is in his 80's and doesn't have the steadiest hand!!  Don't want to hear any opp'ses (just how do you spell that?) when he's at the back of my just healing skull!

I could see when I got up on Friday but was still hurting.  But I had obligations I had to meet at work, so off to the office I went.  I had every intention of leaving after the morning meeting was over.... I got home at 5:15.  Yeah, once I'm there, it's hard to leave.

We're all set with travel and accommodations in Toronto.  My wonderful cousin has offered to pick us up from the airport and we'll have dinner together.  She is also giving us keys to their condo (just 4km from the hospital) so we have somewhere to stay once we run out of hotel on Friday morning.  With the G20 summit the week of my surgery it is insane trying to find somewhere to stay near the hospital for under $190 / night!  And my cousin and her husband are leaving the city before the summit to go to the cottage.  We're all set!  Toronto Western here I come!!

So I have 8 days left at work.  I'm not being given any new files.  I'm finishing up training my replacement and tidying up all of my filing, purging files, and making sure nothing is left to do.  Next week the department I work for is all going for lunch to "celebrate" my surgery.  Or mourn my departure!! My female boss is already missing me and I'm not gone yet!

[I just had to go back and remove the word so from the start of 3 out of the 4 paragraphs I used it to start.  Somebody sign me up for a writing class!]

With just 2 weeks until my surgery I have started to pack a little.  Things like my neck pillow, scarfs, baby shampoo and gravol (dramamine) are all ready to go.  Just deciding on what luggage to take.  I think we will pack in 1 suitcase so hubby only has to manage 1 on the trip home.  I'll take a travel bag with me for my stuff I'll need at the hospital.  Won't need much.  I'll barely have any hair so a tiny bottle of shampoo, tooth brush and paste, pyjamas, slippers and a box of peppermint tea.  I'll consult with the admissions clerk about my 101 things I can't eat, so we might have to find a little grocery store for a few snacks on Monday afternoon to bring to the hospital.  I'll probably stash baby cookies and 100 calorie packs in our luggage for the trip down too.

So, I can't remember a thing I was going to write Sunday, but I think I have updated all the same!!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

22 Days to Go!

The count down is on...

Flight to Toronto is booked.  Hotel is booked for a long as I could book one for... And it is just across the street from Toronto Western.  As for the rest of the time we're there, well .... WARNING - travelling to the city hosting the G20 summit the week of the summit means NO HOTELS!  I searched at least 20 hotels, motels, bed and breakfasts and even 2 hostels close enough to the hospital to walk or bus to.  Nothing... and I mean nothing available for a price we can afford.  Most are $190+ per night.  And the hostels - uh, no.  Sorry, not subjecting the hubby to rodents and bed bugs.  UGH!!!  I've sent an e-mail to my cousin in Toronto.  She offered us a place to stay with them.  I sure hope the offer still stands if we are still in Toronto on the Friday.  I'm sure it will be!

My best friend is supposed to come from Welland to see me in Toronto and I'm really looking forward to seeing her!  It's been almost a year since we've seen each other.  Too bad she'll see me likely at my worst!

I've started putting together the essentials too.  My scarf to wear home.  Those powdered ice packs you shake and they become cold.  My own tube of toothpaste because it will be very hard to share with hubby if his is at the hotel and I'm at the hospital!  And a list of people's phone numbers and emails to keep in touch with everyone while we're there.

My pre-op appointment is on Thursday - which is also our 4th wedding anniversary.  I've got my haircut booked for the 12th.  I'll try to post before and after pictures.  It's all coming off.  I can't manage this style without hairspray and mousse and a curling iron.  I also have a massage and a Reiki treatment booked for the week before surgery.   I'm going to be beautiful and relaxed!

I bought some new pyjamas on the weekend, but couldn't find any more that buttoned up the front that I could afford. Grrrr...  But I have one pair and then a t-shirt and capri set I can bring too.

I did have an accomplished 5 days off work too.  I have my tomatoes planted with hubby's help.  And I planted a few new perennials and a few annuals just so the gardens don't look empty now that the tulips have died off.  It took me 3 days to plant what I bought with my mum on Thursday... but it was all good.  I'm just not used to operating so slow!  And I have my first sunburn of the season.  Mild, but I guess I should have put 30 SPF on instead of just 15 yesterday.  Ah well...  no huge deal.

So, in the next three weeks I have to ensure that my replacement at work is up to speed on everything I can teach her.  And still work on my regular duties.  Should be an adventure!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

June 22, 2010

Got my date!! HURRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Gentili's assistant called today at lunch.

Have to be in Toronto for pre-admission clinic on June 21st.  I will be admitted at 6 am on Tuesday June 22, 2010 to Toronto Western hospital!

Okay, so now, panic! 26 days.....

Already looked up flights and hotel.  Just waiting for my pre-admission time before I book the flights.  Might have to arrive there Sunday night.

So 1 month to the day from losing my grandma I will finally have my posterior fossa decompression!

Monday, May 24, 2010

99 Little Things

Once again, I have hijacked a great post from Marla.... Thanks!


99 Things About Me (Everything that I have accomplished is in bold)


1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars - I've slept in tents with holes in them? Does it count?
3. 
Played in a band - grade 8 band! I played the baritone tuba... and yes, it outweighed me!
4. Visited Hawaii
5. 
Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to DisneyWorld - yes 3 times, including my honeymoon!
8. 
Climbed a mountain - technically I rode up on a chairlift, but I skied down it! :P
9. Held a praying mantis
10. 
Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. 
Watched a lightning storm - Plenty of good ones over Lake Superior...
14. 
Taught yourself an art from scratch - several
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning - unfortunately
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. 
Grown your own vegetables - plenty of them!  The lettuce, basil and onions are already up!
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train - not overnight, but a really loooooooong day or two traveling through Italy
21. 
Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch-hiked 
23. 
Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - one I know of
24. 
Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping - Finn + sauna + the river = skinny dipping!
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice - Never got that far north in Italy :(
29. 
Seen a total eclipse
30. 
Watched a sunrise or sunset - plenty of them too!
31. 
Hit a home run - barely made it to first base - not a big baseball player
32. Been on a cruise - I don't think a weekend on a houseboat counts, so no
33. 
Seen Niagara Falls in person - yep, in grade 8 and with my bestest friend last July!
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - yep - even saw the house my dad was born in
35. 
Seen an Amish community
36. 
Taught yourself a new language - not completely myself, but Italian and Finn, plus French in school through to my university degree, ugh, and Latin - a prerequisite for the French degree
37. 
Had enough money to be truly satisfied - I'm just about there....
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person - 1993!
39. Gone rock climbing - I was supposed to learn last summer, then I got diagnosed with Chiari and it might be a little to dangerous if I should fall, even though I'd be tethered etc.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David - yep 1993
41. Sung karaoke - my favourite memory of my friend Martin - karaoke at the Christmas party.... I Will Survive!
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. 
Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. 
Been transported in an ambulance - in the passenger seat - not the patient
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - snorkeling at camp
52. 
Kissed in the rain
53. 
Played in the mud
54.
 
Gone to a drive-in theater
55. 
Been in a movie - nope, just on local tv
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. 
Started a business - Cassandra's Crafts!
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. 
Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies - nope
62. Gone whale watching
63. 
Got flowers for no reason - a few times
64. 
Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving - why would anyone jump out of a perfectly good airplane !
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70.
 
Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar - oh sooooo yummy..... drool.....
72. Pieced a quilt - no but I crocheted a couple blankets
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job - yep but the other bosses called me back the next day...
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77.
 Broken a bone - my toes, bones in my foot, my thumb bone, and a pinky finger
78. 
Been a passenger on a motorcycle - heck I DRIVE the motorcycle!
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book - in a book, but not the whole thing
81. Visited the Vatican - yes May 1, 1993 - and the Sistine Chapel was CLOSED! Grrrrrr.....
82. 
Bought a brand new car - well, a new truck
83. 
Walked in Jerusalem
84. 
Had your picture in the newspaper - when I was 4 or 5!
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve - no one stranger than my husband :P
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating - fish is an animal?
88. 
Had chickenpox - yep and shingles
89. 
Saved someone’s life - no, but help a few injured skiers as a Ski Patrol
90. Sat on a jury - thank heavens no, I work for a deputy judge - I'm exempt :)
91. 
Met someone famous 
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. 
Had a baby 

95. 
Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. 
Been involved in a law suit  - no thank heavens again!
98. 
Owned a cell phone 
99. 
Been stung by a bee - yes, and a wasp, and a hornet and a few other miserable biting things!

And I think I'll add one:
100.  Had brain surgery - will - very soon!!!

Nice to have a little distraction this evening.  My brain's working overtime....

Saturday, May 22, 2010

How do you Heal a Broken Heart?

My heart broke this morning a little after 8 am.  My beloved grandma passed away.  Love is not a strong enough word to express how I feel about my grandma.  She is my friend, one of my best friends. And my heart is going to take a very long time to heal.  This is grandma, mum and I on my wedding day - June 3, 2006.